Will Knott

In publicity mode

and at rest

taken at the press launch of the Smirnoff Mule

Sometimes a bad photo can look better than intended.

The waitress moved at the moment the shutter clicked.

Aliens?

Taken at the Smirnoff Mule press launch

Today is the day that Ikea Dublin opens.

Some are expecting chaos on the roads of Dublin (and given the closure of College Street on the same day, its guaranteed), and some are expecting chaos in the homes of Ikea purchasers.

At least I think that’s why companies like Simple Assembly Me Hole have started up. Part of the expectation is that a whole bunch of people who have never bought self assembly furniture before will descend on the new Ikea and bring flat pack boxes home.

And not know what to do with them. Or how to put them together.

Part of this is that the little Allen key that comes with every piece of Ikea furniture is bloody difficult to use (it is, I end up using the multi-tool for my bikes. Size is everything when it comes to torque), and that the international, word free instructions aren’t that easy to follow (depends on the furniture).

That and they’ll also assemble and install your kitchen for you.

I’ve asked, since the assembled team seems to consist of qualified carpenters they can do most of the standard (and by nature, non-standard) Ikea hacks too? However they seem to only be in the greater Dublin area, for the moment anyway.

Part of the fun of Ikea is putting it together, I know that I would need to hack together a complete office for myself (hack, customisation is something I know I’m going to do. That and build things not exactly as intended).  For example, building an office from a mix of kitchen, bedroom and living room parts.

But that might just be me.

At the moment, I might have to look in to building a wheelchair accessible kitchen from scratch. Trust me I’m interested in the installation process and if things can be hacked for access purposes.

If I’m let.

take care,
Will Knott

As the bloggers pre-launch Smirnoff Mule event was based around the circus theme, Johnny D’Juggler was on hand to teach.

Sometimes teaching very quickly.

Sometimes teaching quite slowly.

Sometimes teaching the secret of keeping your balls in the air.

And sometimes teaching the art of keeping things balanced and fast moving at the same time.

Talented guy.

Will Knott

The “cards” are actually the beermats used in promotion of the Smirnoff Mule drink. They look very distinctive. Personally they remind me of the traveling carnies that cross the US Midwest during the Great Depression the 1930s.

Probably not the intention of the drink makers (I’m sure they were after the roaring 1920s or the early 1940s, but still).

Their advertising is all circus based, as the TV advert embedded video below shows.

I’m not sure why, but I suspect part of it is to stand out from the other name of the drink, the “Moscow Mule”. Russia has great Circuses, but this way its an implied link rather than a direct one.

And you can have a lot of fun with a circus.

Now, I have to ask. Are photos of, well, photos a bit of a cop out?

Will Knott

Peeking over the edge of the glass of a Smirnoff Mule. Taken at the bloggers pre-launch event.

I asked if there was any point in a non-drinker going to a drinks launch.
Then the answer appeared. Photographs. There will be a bunch of photos from the pre-launch and the launch event appearing here (as I can schedule them) over the week.

Well I don’t have photowalk shots.

take care,
Will

and nearly took mum with it.

While in the queue for the car park to go to the Cork City part of the World Wide photowalk I got a phone call.

It was Mum’s neighbours.

The television at Mum’s had caught fire and she wanted me to get home as fast as I could. I did.

No one died, the damage isn’t that bad, but she’s declaring that she doesn’t want a replacement television (I expect that to last a week when soaps withdrawal kick in). After all, the electronic babysitter, the smiling entertainer in the corner had attacked.

On Saturday afternoon she plugged it in. And there was a crackle and  little puff of smoke, like a cigarette in the corner. She plugged it out. Still smoke.

She left the room to ring the neighbours and open the front door. When she returned there was a plume of black smoke rising.

Highly toxic black smoke.

I think at this point one of the neighbours rush in, fortunately wearing fireproof gloves (he has no memory of putting them on, on moment he got the phone call, the next he was coming in Mums door wearing them). He picked up the TV and tried to run out of the house with it. He would have succeeded if Mum (who I should point out is on crutches) decided to lead the way.

Slowly lead the way while a lump of toxic materials plumed and melted behind her.

At the doorway the neighbour manager to get her to turn towards the stairs, and get the TV out of the house just as it got past the smoking part and decided to head straight for the flaming finale.

A second or two later it was flaming on the front lawn.

Then he turned back. You see, melting plastic was igniting the papers Mum had around the TV. And the table it was sitting on was starting to go up. And the smoke (at least) has licking the gas boiler directly above the television.

Anyway, he put put the papers and books. There melting discs (the DVD player looks OK, but we can’t tell hat the heat did to it yet), a smoldering radio and darkened walls show how localised and high the heat was for a little while.

Scorched curtains are dumped, and the coats with melted holes at the end of the stairs are awaiting assessment.

The house still has a twinge of toxic black smoke in the air. Lumps of melted black plastic show the progress of the equipment out of the house.

Under the tree sits a partially melted TV surrounded most of the desk it once sat on.

So Mum is alive and as well as she was on Friday. Except for a little come down from the adrenaline. And she has a new lease of tidying up. Five bags of newspapers and magazines went to the recycle centre on Sunday.

One small bag of books came back. (Shouldn’t have looked, but a cookbook and a book on censorship in Ireland returned from the dump along with a USB extension cable. Well it is recycling).

I’m unplugging a lot more equipment now. And I’m spared from the soaps.

I’ll give it a week until she starts looking for a replacement. I just wonder if I can talk her in to making a wheelchair friendly kitchen for herself.

take care,
Will

Every so often bumf arrives in my door. Most of this junk mail is clearly for the recycle or compost bins, but sometimes it gets read through.

The supermarket ones get a once over, just in case there are forthcoming bargains.

Looking at the SuperValu leaflet which features their price cuts since March, TheChrisD pointed something out.

“Its not exactly a typical weekly shop.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well look at the items on this receipt, who buys packs of ‘Always Ultra Normal Plus’ on a weekly basis?”

“Well, I can see someone going through a pack in a very heavy week, but I don’t think they would be a weekly item. Then again, I know that they can be used as incontinence pads. So it could be someone with a problem in that area.”

“That’s a typical shopper?”

“No its probably the items that you’d get the most back in reductions.”

“So who would gain?”

“Go through the list.”

“Here is another one, who would use up a bottle of Baby lotion in a week?”

“Strippers.”

“What?”

“Think about it, when the show ends they are wearing a smile, some sweat and a sheen of baby oil. Looks better under the lights.”

“Okay….”

“Anything else odd on the list?”

“100 cotton buds.”

“Part of the act?”

“A seven pack of Hula Hoops?”

“For Maxi Cane to nibble off the toes of the strippers.”

“er… a tub of Brylcreem Wet LookGel.”

“I know guys who go through a tub a week. Maybe is for the look. Or its a troupe of male strippers.”

“Maxi will be disappointed.”

“Or its for the look. Anything else?”

“Mr. Muscle Foamer. You can’t use a bottle of that in a week.”

“Could be part of the act.”

“What!”

“Well you know the tin of whipped cream act.”

“No?”

“It turns out that if you do the act with whipped cream, its quite dangerous as bits drip off and the stage, or rather backstage gets oily. If you slip you could break something.”

“And the baby oil won’t do that?”

“No it soaks in. Usually they use shaving foam, it dissolves dry. Having said that, the foamer would probably wreck their skin. Maybe its to clean the shower at each venue.”

“How do you know this?”

“Friend in the industry. Was on a cycling holiday with his dad a few years back. Still get the odd e-mail every now and again.”

“Okay… back to the list. You wouldn’t use a 5 pack of razor blades in a week.”

“You might if its a troupe.”

“Bottle of Lynx Shower gel?”

“Showers before and after each performance. Possible. And the roadie might use it too.”

“Almost 3kg of washing powder?”

“Costumes need cleaning. White uniforms and oil stains don’t go together very well.”

“A kilo of parsnips?”

“Eating healthy?”

“A full tub of vaseline?”

“Freaking out the check out staff?”

“So you’re saying that the typical SuperValu shop is filled with troupes of nubile strippers doing their weekly shopping?”

“Of course they wouldn’t be in their costumes. Maybe. It would explain a few things. It would be interesting to find out.”

“Explain a few things? Are you going to the shops soon?”

“Why?”

Will

p.s. I wonder if any other shops have this side by side receipt comparison where you can invent their typical or fantasy shopper?

Saturday July 18 is World Wide Photowalk day. Thousands of images will be taken on the day and uploaded to Flickr with an overall winner chosen by photographer Scott Kelby.

Now I’m uploading to Pix.ie, so I won’t be in the contest part, but I will be wandering the streets of Cork wielding a camera. Its not just Cork, there are photowalks taking place in Cashel, Tipperary, Dublin, Galway, Limerick City and Adare in County Limerick,

Some of these are booked up (the maximum on a photowalk is being limited to 50. (Try herding a group of ADD afflicted photographers dawdling with a camera in one hand and traffic rushing towards them. The 50 limit is probably a touch much). But if your nearest one is full, you can set up your own (New York has at least five at the moment.)

Then again, meeting a bunch of fellow photographers (or messers with cameras) and wandering around with them is a lot of fun. You’ll pick up things. You’ll also discover views of your city or town that you haven’t considered before.

To be seen by the organisers upload your photos and tag them with “skpwalkcork” (or skpwalkdublin or what ever is listed in the instructions for your intended photowalk. The SK stands for Scott Kelby.

Because you never know what you might see on the streets.

Will Knott

Rick asked for a favor.
Rick O’Shea is the patron and spokesmodel for Brainwave, the Epilepsy charity.

They are having a fundraiser ball on Friday August 7. And I’m thinking of going.

First I’ll have to buy tickets (or if you have paypal, buy tickets) for The Horse Show Hustle in Krystle.
Then I’ll have to show up.

And dance.
Care to join me on the floor?

Actually, given how badly I dance, its possible that I’ll be on flat the floor at least once.

OK maybe not like this.

Again.

take care,
Will