Will Knott

Today is the day that Ikea Dublin opens.

Some are expecting chaos on the roads of Dublin (and given the closure of College Street on the same day, its guaranteed), and some are expecting chaos in the homes of Ikea purchasers.

At least I think that’s why companies like Simple Assembly Me Hole have started up. Part of the expectation is that a whole bunch of people who have never bought self assembly furniture before will descend on the new Ikea and bring flat pack boxes home.

And not know what to do with them. Or how to put them together.

Part of this is that the little Allen key that comes with every piece of Ikea furniture is bloody difficult to use (it is, I end up using the multi-tool for my bikes. Size is everything when it comes to torque), and that the international, word free instructions aren’t that easy to follow (depends on the furniture).

That and they’ll also assemble and install your kitchen for you.

I’ve asked, since the assembled team seems to consist of qualified carpenters they can do most of the standard (and by nature, non-standard) Ikea hacks too? However they seem to only be in the greater Dublin area, for the moment anyway.

Part of the fun of Ikea is putting it together, I know that I would need to hack together a complete office for myself (hack, customisation is something I know I’m going to do. That and build things not exactly as intended).  For example, building an office from a mix of kitchen, bedroom and living room parts.

But that might just be me.

At the moment, I might have to look in to building a wheelchair accessible kitchen from scratch. Trust me I’m interested in the installation process and if things can be hacked for access purposes.

If I’m let.

take care,
Will Knott

I’m waiting for Ikea Dublin to open. OK, not waiting, but making some plans. So I keep an eye on the Ikea Hacker blog.

And today, this shows up.

The Good Vibrations table was created by Tim G Taylor as part of an art exhibition.

• Materials:
• one Lack side-table top,
• four ‘ultra-smooth lite-up multi-speed simulators”,
• one book ‘Great Railway Journeys of the World’.

The idea would be to have a traveling table at the exhibition, but it stayed in place. Rattling.

Obviously the choice of dildo is important. It has to be rather hard (ahem) to hold up the the weight of the table. But somehow the sight of the flexible ones, flapping about, trying to go around the floor would be amusing. Maybe tongues would be better (a telephone table to get tongues wagging!). Also the table being considered a “Lack” despite its clear endowment means that the artist is a very happy man. Something like this should win the “Filthy Butt Fun Award” from Maxi.

But I think I could go one better (even if I get weird looks from the TOG guys).

You see, one of the most popular hacks for Ikea products, is to make a multi-station charger for your phone, MP3 player, laptop etc.

Well why not a battery recharger.

After all the legs need something to keep going.

Maybe I should apply for a business idea grant. Is there a business to be made designing furniture like this? After all I can see an excellent horizontal Saint Andrew’s Cross being made out of four Norden benches and an Oddvar stool. Or would something like that be considered blasphemy?

take care,
and insert the batteries correctly,
Will Knott

Part of the main news tonight was that IKEA opened in Belfast. The predicted hordes didn’t show (a sign of economic slow down perchance?) The part of the news that didn’t mention was that the plans to open such a shop in Dublin is still stalled.

Well right now a new motorway (more M8, but at least its a more usable lenght) is being built between Cork and Cashel. So there is prime retail land for a major superstore which could be built in Cork (or South Tipperary). Add on and off ramps to the motorway (with a long extra lane, an piles of hard shoulder to take the strain) and it might be viable.

And of course, having something like that in Cork (or South Tipperary) before Dublin is something which would make county hall cackle.

How do you go about checking if its viable?

take care,
Will

update : following this shot I wonder if we could get Harney and O’Keeffe on the couch?

tags : IKEA, Belfast, Cork, Cashel, Tipperary, M8